


Let’s get out of the rain (and into each other’s arms)

by sunshine_kitcat (moonkevin)



Series: The story of my life (told in the tune of yours) [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, It’s the last fic but through Xiaojun’s POV, M/M, Metaphors, maybe idk, poetry?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 22:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20182057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonkevin/pseuds/sunshine_kitcat
Summary: The primrose garden he always had wilted, only one measly one remaining. Where spring would welcome them each year with warmth, it came as a flood this time. His heart cracked, like a mirror as he gazed into it. This isn’t him. It was never him.But then who is he?





	Let’s get out of the rain (and into each other’s arms)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Speedy_18](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Speedy_18/gifts).

> Inspired by IOI’s downpour, but I rewrote the lyrics myself so none of the lyrics are ACTUALLY the lyrics. Listening to the song while reading will help the mood though!

_The sky growls, and the endless rain starts to fall._

_But here I am alone, as the storm comes._

Some time ago, Xiaojun can remember the rain. The taste of salty air, the feeling of the world’s saddened shoulders, the sounds of a weeping child resembling himself, the smell of sadness. But then there was the sight of himself. A wreck, pure sadness clinging onto his shaking frame like termites to a tree. It eats him inside out, and no amount of love and care could cure it. He was doomed from the start, meant to give away his everything, and receive nothing. Like a flower that’s been cut. Only for viewing, but no one cared for him. Mark used to call him a flower, like a dash of beauty in endless winter, and Xiaojun can’t help but cry at the memory.

_I know that they tell me you’re gone now, but I won’t let go._

_I’ll wait for you here, in the cold._

Mark. Sweet, protective, shy Mark.

He fell too deep. Too quick, like glaciers down a mountain. Mark was a delicate breeze, and Xiaojun, a blizzard. A snowstorm and a calm day, coexisting but never meeting. Their worlds collided once, by pure chance. They were never allowed to meet. Never allowed to understand and love each other. Too different.

Yet, exactly the same.

Xiaojun had hoped Mark would stay. Bring love to his frozen eye of the storm. Bring warmth to his endless prison. A prison he made himself. Maybe it was his fault Mark went away. But he couldn’t doom such a beautiful creature to such a horrible life. And yet, when he left, everything went black.

The primrose garden he always had wilted, only one measly one remaining. Where spring would welcome them each year with warmth, it came as a flood this time. His heart cracked, like a mirror as he gazed into it. This isn’t him. It was never him.

But then who is he?

_Someday you’ll come back, we’ll be back on track._

_And then we’ll make a new past._

_The wind blows away my last memories of you._

Xiaojun tried to forget. He tried to find other lonely souls, ones who were willing to stay. Who could stay. Ones who different, ones who were the same. But every one of them swam back to the ocean when the ice melted a little. Every promise was broken, nothing he did could heal his wounds. He turned cold. Hardened like diamonds. Pressure turned rock into diamonds, brilliant, bright, beautiful.

Only to be looked at.

The ice prince, the snowflakes called him. A frozen, cold heart with only a pretty face, they whispered. Every flake fell on his face, and every flake called him a disgrace.

He was meant to be alone.

Mark left like the wind. He took everything with him, and Xiaojun was back to feeling so, so cold.

_These drops of rain,_

_They share my pain, my cries are faint, the world it paints, creates a stain._

_Slowly all my tears, slowly all my fears, start to reappear._

Some days, he’ll see the outline of the sunpast the clouds. Every time, he dashed for it, hands reaching or like he could touch it. Every time he makes it, he sees Mark. He sees Mark looking like a fairy. The other fairies surround him, and he looked so utterly happy that Xiaojun knew he couldn’t interrupt. His own body suffocated him, drowned him. Pain wrecked everything, and he walked back in sadness. Every time, a new fairy would appear before him, and Mark would have another. But every time, he can’t bear the thought of Mark.

It hurts. Icicles dug into him, stopping every cry for help, every breath, every confession. He couldn’t say anything to the passing snowflakes, couldn’t ask for help. The words suffocated him. Drowned him.

Silenced him.

_Oh it’s silent now, despite the sound, of raindrops falling on the ground._

_Oh darling why can’t you come back to me? You are all that I wanted to see_

Horrible silence dig into Xiaojun’s spring. He continued to be avoided, only to be observed, like every storm should be. With spring gentleness, the edges of his clouds soften ever so slightly, and Xiaojun feels so numb. The falling flowers all try to catch his faint attention, and the birds serenade him with song after song. But it doesn’t work. Mark sticks in his heart like chewing gum, blowing up into a bubble every time he tried to heal. It digs into every crack, and he can never stay with the other flowers. He wants his love song back. He wants his night back. He wants to see an end to endless spotlight.

An end to the world.

Be loved again.

To feel safe.

Secure.

Rest.

_I would trade my all to be near you once again,_

_And I would rather this world simply end._

_It took away the thing I love, a part I was made of, and flew off like a dove._

_And so just take this cruel world away instead of your warm embrace._

It’s cruel. Because at some point, his morning voice becomes cracked, and his heart won’t allow him to feel anymore. The flowers becomes mosquitoes, stinging and harmful. He suffers with ever passing second, so he surrounds himself in a shell. With every layer, more of them came, and soon enough he wasn’t enough.

He was never enough. He was always the weak one.

Mark.

He needed Mark.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t put Mark through this. The world took sympathy on him at last, and it forced Xiaojun’s day to end. For the night to come. And with the night, came Mark. He held him in his arms, whispering air light words into Xiaojun’s cracked shell. Like fireflies to the night, he slowly started to glow. But then, Mark left again.

_(And now, it’s time, good bye)_

He left, but it’s with the promise of return. Months raged on with anger and pain, but being with him was healing. It was enough. Mark is always enough. He would be out there, he would fight for Xiaojun, protect him, if the younger did the same. He’s already given him so much, and yet all he asked him was natural as breathing.

Mark was worth anything.

Mark is worth everything.

_I slowly drown inside the clouds,_

_I’m still alone, inside my home, frost in my bones._

_But there’ll be a light, maybe not in sight, but I’ll be alright._

The chilling breezes of fall comes after the summer heat, soothing and gentle. A season of healing. Mark built him a fire, let him in and no one else. Mark stayed for him. Mark lit up the world for him, not caring for the consequences. His nighttime friends welcome Xiaojun with open arms, and Mark let his walls fall. For the first time, Xiaojun saw Mark for what he is.

Scared, angry, flawed.

But it made him so much more perfect.

Trust.

They trusted each other, two chameleons who adjusted too well, showing their true colours for the first time. Like birds of paradise, beautiful and colourful. Like gardens of flowery heaven.

It was perfect.

_And if I can’t see the light this deep,_

_Then will the dark remember me?_

_If I’m slowly forgotten by the world, please come back and teach me how to love._

Winter came back soon enough, and Mark kissed him under the last rainfall of autumn. It felt right. It felt perfect.

It was Mark.

Winter was a quiet affair, shared in warm breaths and loving whispers. Campfires turned to fireplaces, and blizzards became holidays. All because he had someone by his side. All because Mark was his.

A million butterflies and birds came to them in spring, whisking them off on a journey to forever. They promised each other that neither would ever have to spend winter alone again. Every downpour, Xiaojun would stand behind a glass wall, watching his memories replay. Like an endless cassette, except the pain was no longer there. Only happiness. Only joy. Because it was Mark.

A drop of rain falls on his head. It rolls of the top and onto his cheek, resembling a tear, before it ended up on the ground. Xiaojun closed his eyes, expecting more bone-chilling cold to come as it always didin downpours.

It never came.

A dark shadow covers over him, and a warm body presses up next to his. A smile. He turns around.

“Let’s get out of the rain, ‘kay Junjun?”

Let’s get out of the rain, Xiaojun agrees. We’ve been sad for too long.

Let’s get out of the rain, and into each other’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to my 00ff gc, because the cloudzens are the best. However, this entire series is dedicated to my lovely Beta, Bitter, for that one tweet that sent me into a XiaoMark spiral. Sure I had ideas, but your encouragement made everything possible.


End file.
